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CHILDREN AS THE CAUSE OF INSOMNIA: ESTABLISHING A GOOD ROUTINE
Parents can be of tremendous help in laying down a good sleep pattern for their child in the future. A regular, consistent routine helps the child to understand that it is bedtime (small children aren’t aware of time), and should be established as early as possible.
Sometimes mothers and babies get off to a bad start when the baby falls asleep on the breast after feeding and learns to associate falling asleep with mother being there. As the child gets old enough to demand your presence, you can teach him or her firmly but lovingly to sleep alone. A firm tone of voice will help to get the message home. Make sure the child has comforting toys, and reassure it that you are around by looking in every now and again, but don’t let the habit of only sleeping with you there continue. Above all, be consistent, so that the child learns what to expect.
Bedtime should be a pleasant and enjoyable experience for both parent and child, accompanied by story-telling and plenty of cuddles. It’s a good idea for both parents to be involved, perhaps taking it in turns to put the child to bed, so that it doesn’t become dependent on the presence of just one of you. From the age of two, it’s possible to discuss with your child any problems in settling down or getting up in the night: you can set targets and have a reward system for an uninterrupted night. Try not to have a row with your child just before bedtime. And never send the child to bed as a punishment.
If your child consistently has trouble with getting to sleep, staying asleep or other disturbances, it’s useful to keep a sleep diary, as is suggested at sleep disorders clinics and described in My Child Won’t Sleep. In this you keep a note of what’s going on during the day, as well as the hours that the child sleeps, or fails to. You can then observe whether there is a pattern. Do regular nightmares occur, for instance, when father works late? Or is there some other disruption to the daily routine which might be causing anxiety to the child ? or yourself? Children very easily pick up when a parent is anxious or worried, and can develop all sorts of ideas about what might be going on, including believing that family problems are somehow all their fault.
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