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WHEN FIRST DIAGNOSED: UNDERSTANDING AND COMMUNICATING ABOUT
HIV-TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THE DIAGNOSIS: REASONS FOR KEEPING SILENT
Some people who made their diagnoses public have compromised their jobs, their ability to get mortgages, and their ability to keep their insurance. For this reason, lawyers often advise their clients with HIV infection to tell as few people as possible: tell those they are obliged to tell, tell those they love and whose support and help they need, and then tell no others. You are certainly under no obligation to tell your neighbors, your employer, your landlord, or, unless you are filing HIV-related claims, your insurance agent.
The reason most people cite for keeping silent is worry about others’ reactions. “I don’t make a point of the truth about my son,” said June, “but I would answer if asked. So far, no one has. I’m not ashamed of the truth, but it bothers other people.”
The particular truth of HIV infection does indeed bother people. When Dean Lombard first told his mother, she stayed out of church for a long time because she was afraid the other members would not talk to her; Dean’s sister was afraid of being rejected by her friends. Alan Madison worried that his mother would feel guilty, overreact, and make his life more difficult by “asking me questions and giving me orders.” Alan also stopped inviting friends over because he thought that when they found out about his infection, they would worry because they had used his coffee cups. Steven Charles worried that his co-workers would no longer want to work with him. He thought that his sister would no longer invite him to dinner or allow him to play with her children. He was worried about how much he would hurt his relatives and about how much pain he would cause them.
Other people have related reasons for keeping silent. Helen Parks worried that people would find out without her telling them: “Psychologically,” she says, “that plays on my nerves.” Her sons, she thought, could not keep confidences. She was afraid that those she told would gossip, and she would lose control over who knew and who did not. She even bought the drugs to control her infection in a nearby city rather than risk being seen in her local pharmacy. She worried about having to tell her insurance company. June Monroe did not want to tell her mother-in-law, her son’s grandmother; the old woman was in failing health, and June did not want to add to her troubles. Lisa’s husband did not want to tell his daughter: “He told me he just couldn’t, and started crying,” she said. “He said he was so ashamed.”
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