.gif)
SOME COMMON SLEEPING PROBLEMS WITH CHILDREN
The screaming baby
A screaming baby can be exhausting for both parents and child. There may be a number of reasons for it, and it is a good idea to check that there is nothing physically wrong.
In the first few months a very common cause is colic. It is said that nothing can be done about this, and parents find themselves walking up and down during the night holding the baby until it quietens. However, colic can be helped by some natural medicines, as can other causes of screaming. (See the section of natural therapies towards the end of this chapter.) Gently stroking a small baby’s feet is also very soothing and calming.
The colicky stage is a risk area for establishing a pattern of ‘ baby cries — mother comes running’. While it needs comforting at this time, once the colic is over is the time to get it into the habit of sleeping without expecting parents to be in constant attendance.
The overtired child
Some small children need more sleep than their parents realize; if your child is fractious, particularly at bedtime, it could be overtired. Remember, toddlers don’t know what the time is, and it’s up to you to tell them firmly that it’s bedtime.
Try putting the child to bed earlier; you will soon find out if they benefit from more sleep. But if you do experiment with different bedtimes, give the experiments time to work, so that the child has a chance to adapt to the new routine. A major cause of disturbed sleep patterns in children is inconsistency on the parents’ part.
The child who needs less sleep
As children get older, they are sometimes packed off to bed long before they’re ready for sleep, because the parents want the evening to themselves. It is confusing for them and their body clocks to be told it is time to sleep when they don’t feel sleepy, and they may raise strong objections.
It’s best to be honest with them about your own needs. Rather than engaging in a battle, let them play or read in bed until they are ready for sleep. (As a child sent to bed before I was sleepy, I used to read for hours under the bedclothes, to the detriment of my eyesight.) If you trust your child, he or she will go to sleep when they need to. They are less likely to if it becomes a major issue.
Demanding attention in the night
Some children have the parent-debilitating habit of waking in the night and demanding attention. This could be because bad habits have been set up in babyhood when an over-anxious mother has looked in at the slightest sound. Or it could be because they feel they’re not getting enough of her attention during the day. But so long as they are getting all the daytime love they need, they could be testing how far they have you on a string.
Providing there is nothing genuinely wrong with them, the standard advice is to leave them to cry, but many parents feel uncomfortable about this. There is a difference, however, in the sound of a child crying simply to get attention, and the cry of a child who is genuinely afraid or unhappy. It may be necessary to show the child you are there, but also let it know what your limits are, kindly but firmly. Leave the child with plenty of toys to play with if it does waken in the night. Again, you could create a system of rewards, or perhaps a star-chart, for undisturbed nights.
Sleepwalking
Sleepwalking is quite common in children and adolescents, and normally tails off in the late teens. It usually occurs in the deep stages of sleep and the child is not aware of it. It may be a sign of minor unresolved anxiety, but if it happens regularly there could be a deeper emotional cause. If occurrences coincide with particular incidents or some anxiety affecting the child or the whole family, the child may be in need of reassurance.
Otherwise, don’t worry the child by making too much of it. He or she will normally return to bed spontaneously; don’t waken them. But do make sure there’s no danger of the child falling out of windows or otherwise getting hurt.
Nightmares
Most small children go through a phase of having nightmares, usually around the ages of three or four, coinciding with a phase in their development when they are more anxious in general, and perhaps scared of the dark. If the child remembers the nightmare next day, he or she may perhaps be frightened of going to sleep.
Unless they occur very often, nightmares don’t necessarily mean that the child is emotionally disturbed; they can be triggered by a television programme or the sight of a fierce dog in the park, for instance. All the same, it’s important to respect the child’s fears, and listen to anything they want to tell you about their dream.
Make the child feel as secure as possible, and let them know that you are there if needed. They may like to have a nightlight; you can also appoint a favourite toy as a guardian. Some parents have helped children to lose their fear of nightmares by getting them to draw pictures of them and making a game of it — for example, drawing a dream monster and then putting a red nose on it. If a child suffers regularly from nightmares, there may be some deeper cause, and you should talk to your GP about it.
Night terrors
Night terrors occur most often in small children, though adults can experience them too. When they happen the child suddenly sits up in bed, staring into space and screaming in apparent terror. Although these episodes can be very frightening for parents the child usually doesn’t remember them. They occur during the deep stages of sleep and are not related to dreams or nightmares. Stay with the child and comfort it until it falls asleep again.
Night terrors may be caused by the child going to bed feeling angry or distressed, and again, if they are frequent, the child may be reacting to some deeper worry or family problem about which it needs reassurance.
*41/169/2*