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SPINAL CORD INJURY: EMOTIONAL PATHS TO RECOVERY AND LIFE REVIEW
Emotional Paths to Recovery
One way of coming to grips with the “reason” for a spinal cord injury is to search for the emotional meaning of the injury. Emotional pathways to understanding are, by definition, unique to your life. The psychological impact and meaning of the injury depend on your individual characteristics and your age and stage of life. As your emotional landscape changes over time, so will your insights into the emotional meaning of your disability. Given the uniqueness of emotional experience, the emotional impact and meaning of spinal cord injury have countless personal nuances. However, several processes or tasks are common in people grappling with the emotional meaning of an injury: life review, development of emotional priorities, and resolution of past internal and interpersonal conflicts. As is evident in the examples that follow, these three tasks often occur simultaneously or overlap.
Life Review and Emotional Priorities
Life review is a process of examining our life experience, taking stock of where we’ve been, what is happening to us now, and where we might set our sights for the future. This process often happens almost automatically at certain milestones, such as a fortieth or fiftieth birthday, marriage, retirement, or becoming a parent or grandparent. We naturally try to give meaning to these events, to understand their emotional impact within the context of our own experience. This process is also useful in coping with the emotional impact of a spinal cord injury.
In developing our emotional priorities, we sort out the relationships, activities, and values that are most important to our emotional well-being and disengage ourselves from those that are less important. We all go through this process from time to time, and it can be particularly helpful when a change in life circumstances limits our energies or creates new demands.
We know about the variety of strong emotions possible soon after spinal cord injury – anger, sadness, frustration, and isolation, all common, normal reactions. Yet your particular combination of feelings is unique and depends in large part on the kind of person you have been and the experiences you had before your injury. You are still the same person after a spinal cord injury; your basic personality is not likely to change. But the injury is likely to slow you down, at least for a while. Yet at the same time it can act as a catalyst, stimulating you to review and reexamine your experiences, values, and accomplishments. This in turn can lead to important changes in your approach to life, to a new appreciation for yourself and an experience of more positive emotions.
Peter developed paraplegia in his sixties as a result of a spinal hemorrhage. He was semi-retired from his job in real estate sales, but he still served as choirmaster for his church. A lengthy hospitalization, recovery from surgery, and inpatient rehabilitation gave him plenty of time to examine his life, a process he continued after going home. As he took stock of his life, Peter felt a growing sense of pride in his past accomplishments. He had a successful career, a stable marriage, and two grown children with good jobs and families of their own. And he had a passion for singing that had been nurtured and expressed through years of leading a choir.
Although he was initially frustrated and anxious about his disability, Peter found emotional strength in assessing his life and distilling its essence – singing. On a leave from the rehabilitation hospital, he went back to his church and after that, he recalls, “Getting depressed was not an option. I had to get back to the singing.” Peter realized how much the people in his choir and his church community cared for him and depended on his leadership. He felt an increased sense of purpose and a renewed commitment to giving his time and energies to others. At the same time, he decided to quit his real estate job because it no longer seemed important to him or to reflect his values. His emotional priorities had changed.
As a result of his life review and reassessment of emotional priorities, Peter gave more energy to the activities and relationships that were truly meaningful to him and set aside those that were not. He put his disability into perspective as a practical obstacle he could generally get around with some ingenuity and adaptation. The spinal cord injury was the worst thing that had ever happened to him, but in looking to the future he felt more relaxed because he was “on the other side of tragedy” Although Peter’s injury was not something he would have wished for, in reassessing his life it became the impetus for developing his unique talents, broadening his commitment to others, and learning to set aside the things he found unfulfilling.
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